Monday, April 21, 2003

When I was a kid, I was convinced that I had Multiple Personality Disorder, because there is always a chorus of voices in my head. I was trying to work this out during my final exam this morning (it's a research class. I could do it with my eyes closed). I managed to narrow down the field to two distinct entities that I talk to in my mind, anyway; to myself and to "God". Now the question that remains is; which is the real 'me', the core of who I am: the entity doing the talking, or the entity doing the listening? Since I talk to God, I assumed it must be the one doing the talking. But, the one doing the talking changes constantly. I have so many characters running around, bumping into each other up there that there's no telling who the ring leader is. So then it must be the one doing the listening. But, the one doing the listening changes too. Sometimes it's just me, sometimes it's God. So perhaps these things are one and the same? And that's why we must say that God is within each of us? hmmmmmm... See, when I use the pronoun "I" in the corporeal world (i.e. the material world outside myself), it's really just a catch-phrase to encompase all that I am. Sometimes it points soully to my physical self, my vehicle of flesh, but as we all know that often has little to no baring on who an individual is. Even the term "individual" is deceptive, because it suggests a kind of stasis of personal identity that no one I have ever met possesses. I'm barely the same person I was yesterday, let alone five years ago. And yet, there is also a continuity, some elusive constant that does indeed maintain within each of us a unity, from birth to death....

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