At some point in all of our lives, we begin to understand why people say "Christmas is for children"; because after 12 years of doing ANYTHING repeatedly, it gets to be more stressful and annoying than joyous and fun. For many years, I myself was a nemesis of Christmas to rival the Grinch, Scrooge and the Easter Bunny put together. However, if one lets just a few more years pass, one comes out the other side of Christmas malais. So in the spirit of the season, here is my list of the top 10 reasons to love Christmas again.
1) It's the one time of year when the "family drunk" gets to drop that title and is instead refered to as the family member with the most "Christmas cheer".
2) The food, my god the food!!!
3) There comes a time when you realize that you're not getting any more of those wierd obscure presents from distant aunts and uncles...now it's YOUR turn to dole out reindeer sweaters and homemade Christmas socks to the young ones in the family. heh heh heh.
4) It's the one time of year when the snooty cynical film critics in the family have to shut there cake holes and let you watch all the glorious TV movie smaltz you can handle without derision!!!
5) You can feel guilt-free about your "3 for them, 1 for me" shopping policy...at least until boxing day.
6) You can just show up at a Christmas party without any gifts and tell people you're giving them the gift of "charitable opportunity".
7) New Year's resolutions are a great excuse for buying new clothes, getting a hair cut, getting a massage, or basically doing anything decadent for yourself that you wouldn't do any other time of year.
8) Peppermint candy canes are great for getting rid of bad breath...or curing dry mouth.
9) Everything smells good except your day-old body odour.
10) Two days of sitting on the couch in your pajamas doing absolutely nothing but wallow in food, liquor and shredded wrapping paper.
Merry Christmas, everyone!!!
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