I wasn't going to put this one in, because I didn't write it to be impressive with my creative abilites. I usually write with art and guile, but this one I scraped from the bone and sucked from the veins, if you know what I mean. So it might not sound as sophisticated as the stuff I usually write in here, but let me tell you, it's one of the hardest ones I've ever had to write.

CLOSE YOUR EYES

I even like the way you write your name.
Do you understand? Of course you do.
I'm telling you I love you.
I'm telling you I cry
everytime you stop filling up my empty spaces
with music,
everytime your strained smile disappears
and I know you want to say something deeper,
something hurtful and necessary.

I fall in love with your hands,
your words,
your turn of a phrase,
your beautiful
unattainable
insustainable
voice
everytime you cast those ominously cherubic eyes
in my general direction.
My heart bleeds for your affection.
You make me greedy
for grand gestures.
You make me needy.

Close your eyes now,
and imagine my face
stained with dangerous tears
of longing
and regret for what I had not the courage to say,
and of melancoly extacy,
that you showed me the way it could be
in a perfect world...

But someone, something else is on your mind,
so I must be kind
and leave you to your magic splendor
of a Nat-less existence.

But close your eyes,
be tender with your memory of me,
because my passion
hides in the moments
I cannot bare for you to see.

The way you move your wrists...
The way you sleep with measured gestures...
The way you twitch your eyebrow right before you speak...
The way you scratch at your head...
The way you smoke a cigarette...
The way you strut like an electric bulldog...
The way you vibrate with silent intensity...
The way you touch me when you think I"m sleeping...

You send me into wreckless tremors
of stepping side-ways.
I'm closing my eyes
and I never want them to open.